Do You “Know A Guy”?

Picture this scenario: you’re at a networking event talking to two people you just met, proudly declaring your role in tech, as a web designer and developer, and one person responds with a genuine interest in your services while the other confidently offers, “Oh, I’ve got a guy for that!” even though you just said you provide the same service as the person they’re recommending.

Last year, I found myself on an unexpected journey to understand the ‘I’ve Got A Guy’ archetype as I looked to hire new talent on my team in a way that prioritized diversity.

It began as you might expect: When I knew I needed to hire, I asked around to see if my network had any good recommendations. I asked everyone around me whether they knew someone who matched my criteria. Surprisingly, I started to notice a familiar pattern. Women, men, friends, family, colleagues, and acquaintances said the same thing; “I know a guy.” While acknowledging the amazing “guy” professionals I’ve collaborated with, I found myself bothered by the notion that it seemed, generally speaking, folks don’t think of someone who looks like me, a mid-30s Pacific Northwest preppy-ish type of woman, when they need help from a developer; they think of ‘that guy’. The same is true in so many other cases, but I wanted to see how hard it would be to break free of the ‘guy’ stereo type as I looked to hire a web developer.

I worried that because I didn’t match the visual maybe it was impacting my business. So, I decided to look into how I might navigate this phenomenon, and I’m excited to share my process and what I learned with you. 

First, I decided to revisit the book, ‘Women In Tech’ by Tarah Wheeler and Kristin Toth Smith, finding solace in the shared experiences of women in the field, and subsequently, I made a conscious effort to recommend this book to others. The book resonated with me on multiple levels, offering invaluable insights into the challenges and triumphs of women in tech. The act of sharing this book became a joyful and empowering theme to share inspirational resources among my peers. Best of all, it propagated the notion that women not only are everywhere in the tech world but can thrive and find belonging here, too. Duh, I know, but it was a welcome reminder, nonetheless.

Second, I decided to post my next job opening on the Women Who Code’s job board. Initially, I grappled with the job listing fee but later acknowledged it as one of my best investments all year. The interviews from that job posting introduced me to remarkable female developers whose stories inspired me and whose thoughtful questions impressed me. They were genuinely seeking a role that used their skills and made an impact – exactly what I was looking for – and the conversation was genuine and inspiring when we shared our hopes and aspirations to see if there was a match. This activity helped me find the perfect person to join my team, but it also expanded my network and fostered a natural camaraderie as interviewees shared their favorite resources, stories, dreams, and so much more. It was, in a word, delightful.

Thirdly, I normalized my identity as a woman in the workplace by casually mentioning my period at work. Did you just cringe a little? Me too, but hear me out. Instead of concealing my experience, I framed it as an opportunity. My productivity aligns with a 28-day cycle (rather than a typical 24-hour male cycle), which means I’m better equipped for certain activities during certain days instead of certain hours. I framed this as an incredible opportunity to get more done more naturally. The results? It made me wildly more productive. As I spoke up about where I was at in my cycle, it freed others to speak up about their bodies, too. This normalization fostered understanding and support within my team for all human bodily functions, and I’m extremely proud of the respect we’ve fostered for each other in this way. I proved to myself that by acknowledging and honoring the human mind and body, we can each be free to find our most productive selves.

Lastly, I decided to dedicate time to fostering connections with like-minded individuals and other female founders. It’s so easy to support folks who may not meet the traditional stereotype in their field by interacting with a like, comment, or share. Why not make it part of my daily routine? It made me realize that it was up to me to seek out who I wanted to collaborate with, rather than putting the expectation on my network to help me find them. As it turns out, there are a lot of she’s and they’s in the world who are ready for action, and yet, we still aren’t who most folks picture in the world of tech. During my time examining my own experience as a woman in tech, I thought about people in the trades, people in arts and entertainment, and so many other people who may not look like what is expected in their industry. I think that the more we amplify each others voices, the more that will change, and hopefully diversity will become the norm.

By the end of the year, I was no longer feeling bothered by the “I’ve got a guy” one-liner. I often jokingly said, “I’m your guy!” when anyone said they needed help with any aspect of their digital strategy. This is not an anti-men manifesto nor a critique of the ubiquitous ‘guy.’ It’s a call for inclusivity, addressing women, nonbinary individuals, people of color, and all those who don’t fit the ‘I’ve got a guy” stereotype. Advocating against the casual use of ‘I know a guy’ doesn’t equate to rejecting men; it’s a plea to broaden our perspective and make room for the diverse talent that exists beyond the conventional image. And hey, maybe you do know a great guy! I’m simply saying that you should make sure to look for a gal or pal as well, you know?

My hope, of course, is that this blog makes you think of me specifically next time you need web services of any kind. But most importantly, when someone says, ‘I need a web developer,’ try responding with, ‘I have some recommendations!’ Challenge your first inclinations, think hard about who you recommend, and dig deep into the corners of your network to support those who might not match the picture that first comes to mind of the person for that job.

With love,